Breathe.

Here I am, sitting here on this snowy Friday evening, sweats and all, recovering from some sort of 24 hour bug, dying to talk. This whole giving up Facebook for lent is pretty difficult.

This week has actually been a hard one. Not in the case of work, but more of an emotional roller coaster. There's so much that's on my plate, with time running out. I've thought so much about other people whom I love so much that are going through a literal hell. Many people come to my mind when I say that.

I'm giving myself the challenge to smile at random people in the hallway who seem like they just might need a little brightness in their life. We're brushing shoulders with people that are ready to die, and we are completely oblivious. They can see themselves as utterly worthless, not worth anyone's time or effort. And they'll do whatever it takes to try to fit this cookie cutter shape of what they think is the 'right' or 'perfect' person. And they'll take drastic measures to reach it. And if they don't, they beat themselves up. How easy it is to get entangled up in sin. And how easy it is to say that 'I'm fine, I don't need to get out of here, I'm in control.' Frog in boiling water, my friends. You don't realize how deep you are in until you get out of it, look later and say 'I was really in THAT deep?'

It is basically impossible to save someone out of what they're in by yourself. You'll probably need help. That's why we got God. And that's why we DO have parents, or adults, mentors, whatever. They know what to do too.

Please, I beg you, don't do this to yourself. I love you way too much for this to continue to happen.

This long of a struggle
Finally opened up my eyes
Revolutions not easy
With a civil war on the inside

~j

VOTD:

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous-how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

Psalm 139:13-17

It's the nights like these when I want to just curl up in a ball and hide. It's rather tempting, actually. And it's funny how your hardest obstacles in your life can be the ones at your own home, your own flesh and blood. And it makes me sad how I feel so helpless to the huge wall they've built around themselves. But there is nothing left to do except pray, pray for God to give strength for me to speak or for strength for this wall to come down. There's no way I can do this on myself...

~j

VOTD:

You boast, "We have entered into a covenant with death, with the grave we have made an agreement. When an overwhelming scourge sweeps by, it cannot touch us, for we have made a lie our refuge and falsehood our hiding place."

Isaiah 28:15

:]

Happy Valentine's Day! Easily one of the best weekends of my life. :D

~j

VOTD:
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

Ahh, snow days.

Welcome to the days of cabin fever, hoodies and sweats, hot chocolate, shovels and snow past the windowsill. Yay.

Today I decided to relive my childhood of sledding, so Julia and I did our best to recruit Souderton kids who were also stuck at home. After fetching Mikayla and Austen, we sledded on the EMC hill. Very very fun. :D I forgot how thrilling it was to sled. Now if I wore actual snow attire, I would have been all right, because I was soaked to the skin after a few hours, thus ending my fun. :P

Snow days like these can really do a lot to people. It forces you to be with the people around you. You cannot run off to a friend's house or a movie or a coffee shop, etc. You're STUCK. And I hope that you all had some time with your family today, at SOME point. While some family members of mine are rather anti-social with anyone, I got to talk with my parents for a while. That would never happen if we didn't have these days off. They also really show God's power. A mere snow storm of His can cause the entire east coast to go ballistic. EVERYONE'S plans got altered in some way due to the snow. It puts us all on some sort of hold until the roads are all right. It's crazy, isn't it? And of course, it's insanely beautiful. Snow, as much as I hate that it destroys plans, is so pretty. It's pure, white, sets a glow to the world at night. Of all of the colors in the entire world, God chose white. And it couldn't be any more perfect!

Jesus paid it all
And all to Him I owe
Sin has left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow

~j

VOTD:

In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words

Romans 8:26

Stop the clock for a sec.

Goodness gracious, what's the rush? It seems like everyone these days is so antsy to get out of here to college. Yes, I would love to get out of Souderton and see the world, but they're freaking out about colleges and things so into the future that can very well change. Okay, yes, I too have checked out some colleges around here, but I don't know what God is going to throw at my life. As most of you know, I want to go into music as a career because it's a passion of mine. I get kind of concerned thinking about how my grades are less than stellar and my lack of honors in math...and really, God WILL take care of it. He might introduce an entirely different passion into my life in the next few years which will turn my world upside down. And you know, it can happen to you too! And of course, absolutely EVERYTHING is possible in God. I'm really working on giving God the steering wheel of my life, especially now; I encourage you to do the same. He's in control. Not me. And that's the way it should be. So take a deep breath and let it out. Everything is going to be okay. Don't forget to enjoy life. He's got the whole world in His hands. :]

~j

VOTD:
I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:13