Warning

So just so you all know, I probably won't be updating this very much. And i'll let you know when i do. It's just not really working for me, I'm afraid. My life isn't exactly exciting and perfect and happy and I don't want to dump all of my crap on this site or vent everything out on this site because who knows who's reading this or who even cares.

Oh boy.

I can't do it. I honestly don't think I am strong enough to go through THIS much pain. I canNOT do it. But I have to. I CAN'T quit.

:\

How I hate the feeling of uncertainty.

Ehhhmm...:\

This chance is getting larger and larger. I'm so scared. But I'm not giving up yet. I will NOT go down without a fight.

Update.

Hello all. It's been a while since I have updated. I apologize.

Let's see what's super new...

Well yesterday Casey Cold and Jena came over and we swam and were merry, then we ate dinner, took a LOT of pictures on the swing set nearby, then we walked to Dairy Queen where we ALL got cones with rainbow sprinkles. :] It was very fun.

What's coming up. Well there is to be a girl brassline bananza where we will be tie-dying shirts and then going over to Casey Cold's house and sleeping outside in tents :D that shall be interesting.

On the dark side. You don't hear that saying much. You usually hear 'well on the BRIGHT side...' so i'll just say on the dark side.

There is a very very VERY large chance that I won't be able to do marching band because of my back. Like at ALL. It wouldn't be me moving over to pit or going to a different section. I would be OUT of marching band. And I can't even bear the thought. It scares me a lot. And it's just getting so close to reality that I can't take it.

This year is definitely going to be hard. Whether it's me going to CHOP for my back or leaving school early again for more appointments with the doctors that swear that they can make me better or that two of my friends are either not going to be at school or are leaving right after the school year, this will be tough. And I'm so scared.

~j

Back.

i'm home again. and i want to go back to toronto.