I heart break.

Yesterday was fantastic, I must say. (I deleted my other post by mistake so I'll just rewrite this :P) Carter and I went to an art museum in Doylestown and had fun trying to interpret art together (not my strong point). After that, we went to Starbucks (he was hungry) and talked there for probably an hour or so. Really, I am so thankful to have a guy that is completely comfortable with any subject, like faith in God, our struggles, serious things like that. It was so needed. And I love talking about God. :] So we saw Avatar after that which was INCREDIBLE and EVERYONE should go see it. Right when you think the movie is over, the most suspenseful part of the movie comes. :P It was soooo good. I loved it! So after that we went to iHop (yes, iHop) for breakfast for dinner, which I don't remember ever doing. It was so fun. I felt rebellious in a way. :D Good day.

And I gotta feeling that tonight's gonna be very very good. :] Happy New Years. Can you BELIEVE that it's already 2010? Another reminder of how our life goes too fast, especially these years. Have a good day. :]
~j

VOTD:

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Romans 12:2

Mmm...

Cup of coffee, Owl City playing, I am so ready to tackle this bio project. :D

Merry Christmas.

So here I go.

I dare you to read this entire thing. And think about it.

You know, parts of Christmas I HATE. I DESPISE the beginning of Christmas, I hate how people start screaming HAPPY HOLIDAYS to me the day after Halloween, I hate how people carve out their life to make everything look perfect, taste perfect, SEEM perfect when they're really a mess on the inside of their heart. Don't get me wrong, Christmas is FANTASTIC, I am having a great day doing nothing but the four of us chilling and talking, that's so great. But the world's Christmas kind of stinks. I really really REALLY ESPECIALLY hate how people just shove Jesus into that ONE day, then throw him into the attic of their brain and never think of him again until 365 days later. Honestly, we should treat every day like it is Christmas. Jesus was born, but he did not just disappear until it was time for him to die on the cross. Nuh uh. That's NOT how it worked. He lived his life like no other man did before, he made a difference in EVERY day he lived. And you know what? Every day should be treated like gold because God LOVES us like CRAZY. EVERY. DAY. OF. THE. YEAR. No matter WHAT. No matter WHAT we say. He FORGIVES us EVERY DAY. Not just on Christmas, but he'll love us and forgive us on February 6th, or June 21st, or September 8th, or December 24th, 2010, and every day in between. Society toys with our mind to tell us that every day is not special because there are no carols, the Christmas cookies won't be around in July, you will not receive presents every day of the year, etc. Those are all worldly things, guys. Those things won't matter.

But really, keep Jesus in every day, don't just shove Him into one day. Jesus likes his space, I'm sure. He wants to be in EVERY day of your ENTIRE life. And he's right behind you with his arms open wide.

Wanna talk? I'm here too.

Merry Christmas everyone. :]
~j

VOTD:

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:21-23

1 more day. :]

So you'd think with Christmas being 3 days away, teachers would be in a Christmas-y mood and be light on the homework. Ha. WRONG. Essay test tomorrow in global and huge data thing in bio. Yay. Thanks, guys. Thanks a lot. :P

But we're almost there. :] About 24 hours until break really begins.

Just my blurb. :]


~j

Eww.

So today wasn't good. And I don't have any lessons at all tonight to look forward to. My face is easily double its normal size, had TWO surgeries in the past 2 days...UGH. I'm sick of this. I do not want to be a chipmunk for Friday's performance, or Saturday's performance, or Sunday's performance. NO THANK YOU, I'll pass.

I hate missing a lot of work. I missed English. Bad idea to miss that. Eurgh.

I should study. And practice. But I'm so groggy from all of the chemicals coursing through my veins that I'd rather not do anything except type, sit and text.

...At least tomorrow is Friday. What a sweet, sweet Friday it shall be. :]

~j

VOTD:
Show me Your ways, O LORD; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me,For You are the God of my salvation; On You I wait all the day.

Psalm 25:4-5

:]

I can't help but smile.

Thanksgiving part 2.

Who said that you can only be thankful during Thanksgiving? I'm feeling pretty thankful at the moment.

-Thank you, God, for color. Can you really imagine living in a black and white world? He could have easily made that. It definitely would have made his job LOADS easier. But no, He made it colorful or OUR enjoyment. How cool is that?

-God, thank you so much for people that change your life. Thank you for those people that surprise me with their kindness. It's so new. And I love it. Thank you for those friends I can tell absolutely anything to, whether my heartaches or the 'funny thing that happened the other day'. There is no way in this world that I could live without them.

-This is a given, but thank you for music. The utter and ULTIMATE stress reliever. Just IMAGINE a life without music. Really. Silence all the time. Music is EVERYWHERE, whether it's the rush of traffic, the wind whistling in the trees, two voices blending together in perfect harmony. Music is an incredible thing.

I would continue but I must get off soon to walk Shelby. I'm going to challenge all of you to think of something that you could N.E.V.E.R live without. And you know, just thank God that He actually created it for you. :]

~j

VOTD:
Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Hebrews 4:16

Goodness.

Oh wow this week couldn't go any slower. It doesn't help that I want the weekend to come. Really really REALLY soon. I have way too much work, I need to practice everything, study honors global stuff, put the tree up and decorate it, go ice skating with Carter Saturday night :](that will be quite a sight), bake cookies for friends, then go to Christmas ball on Sunday. Oh wow oh wow oh wow. I love Christmas season and all, but right now it's more stressful than any other time of the year. Oh and fit homework in there somewhere.

To whoever out there is reading this, do remember to take your hands away from whatever you're doing, close your eyes, big breath, tell yourself that EVERYTHING will be all right, then continue working. Just mean it when you say that everything is all right, or that'd be slightly pointless. :P I need to do it too. I'm up to my ears in commitments. Good luck everyone else, hope you survive 'til Christmas. :]

~j

Wow. 100th post.

Hurray for 100 posts about life in general. Two things to say.

Carter and I are indeed together. :] Happy.

Second. Do not put wax paper in the oven. It melts. And bubbles. And smokes a lot. It's very dangerous. And smells awful. I now know from experience.

This is a very happy Tuesday. :]

~j

VOTD:

My God will use his wonderful riches in Christ Jesus to give you everything you need.

Philippians 4:19

:)

I've never been the kind that you'd call lucky
Always stumbling' around in circles
But I must have stumbled into something
Look at me
Am I really alone with you
I wake up feeling like my life's worth living
Can't recall when I last felt that way
Guess it must be all this love you're giving
Never knew never knew it could be like this

Get Real.

"Get real! That college is out of your league. Be real! That girl is way to pretty for you. Get real! You're never play on that team, get that part, make that band, get that job. How many times have we heard these expressions? How many times have we used them ourselves? It was hard for me, for so many years, to see who I really was. Why is this so hard to do? Why is it so hard to face ourselves? One reason...The enemy, Satan, likes it this way. The enemy tries to plant seeds of deceptions, pain, sinfulness...of self hate instead of acceptance of God's love for us. Another reason...it's painful for us to see who we really are. It was for me. It was a lot easier to think I was important, talented, bright, nice, blah, blah, blah... than to see my insecurities, inadequacies, and needs, let alone address them. The best way for us to face ourselves...to be real with ourselves...is to remember, as Christians, we are constantly clothed in Jesus' robe of righteousness. God knows exactly what sins, weaknesses, and blemishes we try to hide underneath that faultless garment of salvation that covers and erases all. And He rejoices over you with singing...just imagine that...God singing over you!"

Just a little something. I most definitely struggle with it. And maybe you readers do too. Just think about that.

~j

VOTD:

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17

Thoughts.

Hurray for Black Friday. Hurray for racing frantically through parking lots to avoid getting hit and being run over by women with strollers.

So I was at the mall today and a few things hit me. First, I was in a store and was looking at a shirt, which had a little sticker saying "As seen on cool people". First off, that's lousy advertising and is lacking real creative thought. Second, that's pathetic. Really? As seen on COOL people? Who are the COOL people? The rich ones, the ones who can afford the huge brand names, the ones that can color their hair and brighten their teeth artificially, is that what our culture calls COOL? Besides that it's killing your body doing all of that crap it's just the surface. I won't be a Sunday school teacher and say 'it's what's on the inside that counts' but that IS the truth. Are they cool because they have cold hearts that are yearning for something REAL and all they can do is turn to bleach and nail polish to improve their outer beauty? Just stupid.

My heart hurts. I'm just not very happy. Probably another one-on-one with God again tonight.

I guess you lose the friends that bring you down and you turn to those that make your life better.

Thanksgiving.

Plenty in the stomach, plenty on the heart.

Sick of (lack of) wisdom teeth and their achiness...I had to put my turkey in the blender. It kinda sucked.

Hi Anonymous people,

-So you're keeping me alive right now. You are the one that makes me smile every day, whether it's your emails or your texts or you standing at my front door. Your spontaneous acts of kindness or visits make me feel like I'm actually worth something. And you know, I never felt that before, really. It's nice. Thank you. You put me in a better mood whether I like it or not. You encourage me. Please don't stop, because without you I think I'd break.

-Don't worry. They're all wrong. Sometimes you're in the wrong place at the wrong time, but your heart is in the right place. I'm here for you.

-Get away. Just leave. I've tried. I do love you, but you are making this life I lead so hard.

It's a good night to play my guitar so hard that the strings break. Tonight, I thank God for music.

~j

In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
Thessalonians 5:18

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

Ezekiel 36:26

:]

I made district choir. I am so excited. This part of life is looking up.

~j

ugh.

This is upsetting. All of this crap. All the stress. Yes, Jenny, welcome to honors classes in high school. They are no longer walks in the parks. I hate drama. I hate girls that like boys. More like obsess. And don't share them as friends. I mean really. I don't think I have a bigger pet peeve. It drives me so crazy. oh my word. I hate when people don't forgive each other. I hate when people hold grudges against each other. I hate when other peoples' drama suddenly becomes YOUR drama because you throw yourself in the middle of the chaos. I hate unhappy families. I hate feeling like you have no where to turn. I hate that I can't see God. I hate how I can't just call Him up on the phone and just ask what he has in store to explain these messes. I hate people that just put themselves down just so they can get compliments from others. Lamesauce.

I really really hate missing you so much.

I hate being so away from you.

I hate that I can't talk to you 24 hours a day. And I swear I would make you cookies every hour.

~j

It's Over.

Mid November. It could possibly be known as the worst time of year. Marching band season is OVER. It's done. And that's really sad. It's the seniors last show. It's my last marching show, which kills me to think about. And a lot of people are saying 'well if you believe Jenny, your back won't be as bad.' Yes, I wish. That's not the problem, unfortunately. The problem is I am not ALLOWED to do marching band next year (unless I get drum major). I am not marching another show in my life, unless my back miraculously gets better and I can do mellophone again in a college band. That hurts to think about.

So yesterday was our last Saturday practice. Natalie came up to me and just said "I'm sad." I hugged her and we both started wailing. It's so bittersweet. But nevertheless, we were SO focused and ready to kill the other bands there. I was never so excited. Quite the whirlwind of emotions. We did a run-through (the staff left so it was just for US) and it was so incredible. Katie started crying while conducting. To be honest I was crying too. It's so sad. I mean, we may NOT be Atlantic Coast Championships. We may have not gotten the highest score. We may not be ginormous and we may not have the best staff in the world, but you know? We are a FAMILY. And I know loads of bands that are lacking that. I wouldn't trade Big Red for the world.

Anyway, champs. It was amazing, we never played so well. Still, we got last but I couldn't care less. We did get best percussion out of all of the other bands. :] That was fantastic. I'm just so happy. I don't give a rip of what those stupid judges think because they don't know what they're talking about. We had the best darn show ever and I couldn't ask for anything more.

So now I'm back to my normal life of homework and practicing. Beauty and the Beast auditions on Tuesday, district choir on Saturday. Here we go.

~j

Rainy weekends. Figures.

So of course we have champs tomorrow and we got rained out tonight at our game. It's kinda likely that we'll be doing a standstill tomorrow. Fan. Tastic.

Not much to say. Well actually loads to say, but this isn't very confidential. I believe a bible and my guitar is in order tonight. Maybe for...oh...3 hours or so. Clear my mind or something.

~j

I was pretty patient.

So I finally had my Rachel day yesterday. We wanted it to be a sleepover but we couldn't because my mom thought I would probably die from lack of sleep and whatnot with the flu still with me. So we just spent the afternoon together.

She came over and we just went straight to my room and we talked for about...2 hours. Just about life, heartaches, the happy things, that kind of thing. My word I missed that girl so much. So. Much.

So we ate dinner then walked to Dairy Queen. And had awkward moments with the girl that worked there because I know her from other things and she's not really a fan of me...AND RODE THE MERRY-GO-ROUND 6 TIMES. It was great. We got loads of looks, whether from little kids or the people working at DQ. We would get off of the merry-go-round, put the quarter in and then jump on as fast as we could. :] Fantastic.

So we walked home then tried to re-do our Bop to the Top routine (FAIL) and then just were crazy girls on 2,000 grams of sugar. Fantastic. Good night.

That's my Monday night. Today we're off. Erin and Hannah came over to work on our project...took about 2 hours...now they're gone. I cleaned my room finally and now i have no idea what to do. Perhaps practice. Yeah, probably practice. Chiropractor tonight. Wheeee.

Buh bye.

~j

VOTD:

But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.

Psalm 86:15

Thinking...

So I finally took a break from all of this English work I have to do, and this is just random thoughts that went through my head. When I say random, they have no connection whatsoever.

If you put a Sour Patch Kid into water, then take it out, will the sugar from the outside of the Kid dissolve into the water and make lemonade?

It's funny how I get such a desire to serve God, to love Him, to show him to the world...I think this is a sign.

You know, when people cry, whether it's because someone died or they're going through a rough time, WHATEVER the reason, why do they end up smiling and saying "Sorry..." and covering their face? Are they NOT sad anymore? Are they afraid to actually show the world what they actually feel? Why is it so simple for humans to let their happy-mask come up quickly? Why are they embarrassed about what they were just crying about? Are they concerned how they look? Honestly, when I cry (example: our last lovely competition when my back spazzed majorly), I just cried. I was WELL aware that my eyes were puffy and I was well aware by the end of the day my lip was so swollen and red (bleeding by the end...) from biting it. I kinda just...didn't care. Why do people really care THAT much about appearance that they swallow up what they're feeling to look nice? Is that what society wants? Unfeeling, apathetic Barbie dolls?

Corn syrup is really gross. The combination is corn syrup and sugar together is even worse. Really. It hurt my teeth. I learned this today.

I'm so ready to be better, really. I hate being sick.

I'm NOT A FAN OF MAKEUP WORK. My English teacher is out to KILL. ME. We have this huge project that was supposed to be with 2 people but she decided to give it to me solo. Gee, thanks, Mrs. T.

I'm very alone tonight. My family is gone. And I'm here doing work and watching Say Yes to the Dress. :[. Tomorrow's gonna suck.

I NEED TO GO WINTER SHOPPING. I NEED LONG SLEEVES ACTUALLY. I'm tired of being cold.

OH MY GOODNESS I'm going to miss Mike. A lot. Actually, I'm gonna miss all of the seniors...But Mike...yeah, I'll cry my eyes out when he leaves considering he's my brother and the boy that keeps me...'steady'...with our family, and my source of knowledge when it comes to my homework, and the boy that finishes my food and then has seconds, and the boy that plays saxophone at 10:30 PM when I'm trying to sleep and all of that. Don't go, seniors. You're all too nice. College is overrated.

My dog needs a bath. She smells.

I HEARD AN OWL TONIGHT. Pretty cool.

I'm cold. And tired. Gonna lay down.

That's pretty much it. Yep.

~j

My day suddenly rocks.

So obviously I was home again today, and I was near tears in frustration when I saw all of the stuff I gotta make up. It's really frightening. Anyway, my pants vibrate (hahaha :]) and it's Casey. It says "You made it to districts!!" I leap up and tell my mom. Then the phone rings and it's Natalie, telling me I made districts and she did too, as did Austen and Dan and pretty much all my friends. :] I WAS SO HAPPY. Right after that, Hannah comes (to pick up underarmor which I won't be using since I won't be at the game tonight...) and gives me a care package, consisting of 52 things to do when I'm sick, loads of books, crossword puzzles and stickers. Hannah, you rock. I LOVE YOU. You know exactly what to do. :]

My day suddenly looks a lot brighter. I'm so happy.

~j

The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.

Psalm 19:1

Quarantined. Eww.

I'm not a fan of not seeing the light of day. I go from the couch to my bed to the couch to here once in a while when my head isn't splitting apart. The shades are all drawn down and yuck. I pretended I was Harry Potter today and that Voldemort was coming to attack me. It amused me for about an hour.

This morning I was HIDEOUSLY AWFUL. Apparently I was green/gray this morning and my mom wanted to take me to the ER. :\ Eventually I fell asleep (after 3 Advils...) and eventually I got better. But my fever keeps going up. Very bad.

So no game or competition OR HALLOWEEN PRACTICE WHAT?!?!?!?! I'M SO DISAPPOINTED. Halloween practices are SO much funnn. And we were gonna be superheros....oh man I'm so sad. I think I should get in my marching band uniform on Saturday and just go around the house like that. I'm showing my spirit...in my own unique way :]. Let's go Big Red. <3

Gonna go night night. Or just rest. Either one. I'm not a fan of flu either.

~j

YUCK.

i HATE being sick. This is very very sick I'm talking about. I got the sore throat, the headache (more like a migraine...), the achiness, the hacking cough of an 80 year old smoker, the fever...gross. I hate being sick. And I hate thinking about all of the work I'm gonna have to make up. Boooo block scheduling.

Yesterday, after school I went to Liz's house with Erin/Hannah in order to work on this Global project we had to do. It's a filming one. Fun. I'm the news anchor/crazy doctor. Hannah L. used about 2 gallons of hairspray to make my hair crazy. It took forever to get it all out. :P I feel awful that I went to Liz's house, and then later find out I had a high fever and all. Sorry Liz. :[

I also had my district choir audition yesterday. I probably didn't do that well considering my circumstances. I wonder if she'll let me re-audition. Whatever...I may not have made it. Oh well.

I've been thinking a lot of about stuff. Shocking, right? :P And with all of this time I have to do it now. I read, I watch Say Yes to the Dress, I think, I sleep. Anyway...God. I love Him. But I was thinking...I'm not really LIVING my life for Him. After reading Susie some, it just amazed me how much I want to do a mission trip. I want to do it more than music. I miss Toronto, where I made such good bonds with these people I barely knew, how we would act and sing on the streets and let people either flip us off or applaud us for our boldness, how I learned that street people (aka homeless people) have hearts and a favorite color and family members. You don't think of them as anything except the people who sit on sidewalks unable to get a shower. I love them. They've made room in my heart this past summer. I WANT to do something about it. When Austen came over (and we ended up talking for an hour haha), we talked about this kind of thing. I think THAT'S what I want to do with my life. I want to serve God. I WANT to make a difference in someone else's life. So...yeah. Just something I was thinking about. :]

I'm probably going to sleep now. Or read. Or something. I hate being sick.

~j

VOTD:

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Romans 12:2

Quick blurb...

I have about 8 minutes and then Austen is coming over so we can practice districts together. We're both scared out of our minds...well at least I am.

So today I had allergy shots but had a really bad reaction. I got hives, the inside of my ribs tickled (like a chocolate allergy reaction times ten thousand) and my throat was all gross and i couldn't stop coughing and i wasn't very happy. Anyway the doctor injected me with adrenaline to help the reaction. And now i can't stop shaking. Guess who's not sleeping tonight. :P

That's all. Pretty decent day, my back is on fire. This sucks.

Whatever.

~j

VOTD:

So that they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us;

Acts 17:27

A venting/appreciation session before I practice my booty off for the recital.

Hello anonymous,

I really think that venting out somewhere is good. It's not good to keep things bottled in. I'm not a fan of speaking face to face with my problems, so I think vaguely exploding here is just better. Obviously no names, that's wrong. Just want to get out what I've been thinking about. Hereeee we go.

Okay, really, I can't wait until you go. I try SOOOO hard to get along with you, to give you the benefit of the doubt, to give you excuses for your actions and honestly it is no longer working. You don't deserve what you get. Maybe I do love you, maybe I do care when you run off to get attention because I don't want you dead. You're just making this so much harder than it has to be. I'm bending over backwards just to try to live with you and not go crazy. Now it's your turn.

I do still love you. I know that priorities change. It's okay. I just gotta accept that it won't be the same.

I love you. I miss you. And I know you miss me. We need time in a bottle. I'd open it up right now so we could catch up again. It would probably take over 48 hours to catch up. We could bake again, we could relearn our dance to HSM, we could catch up and spill our hearts again. I still remember that day I sat in your empty family room with you as our parents packed up your house and I thought of everything that would change. Whether this was for the better, I'll never know. But I know I have been changed for good.

Thank you for keeping me alive. And helping me with my homework every night. And how you're almost willing to help. :] Don't go. Please. Just stay here. College is overrated.

You rock. Feel free to live in my mailbox as we planned it to be. I will bake you brownies every day. I can't imagine junior year without you here with me.

You have taught me so much, whether it's how to rotate my wrists on the keys or how to love. You have changed my life. You push me to tears but remind me of the reward at the end. You helped make my dreams look possible. Thank you.

I do feel better. Now I'm off to practice.

~j

VOTD:

But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.

2 Corinthians 3:18

TGIF? Not so much.

So I believe this was the suckiest Friday of my entire life. High school is not fun. It's not a barrel of monkeys in the slightest way. BLAH.

So let's start with global studies. ugh. We had a sub today and crazy boys + fridays = chaos and we get nothing done. so we didn't do much that class. Watched a movie about Mao and how he killed millions of people and yet people kissed the ground he walked on. Interesting story.

Band. As usual, sucky. I did well on the test we did. It SHOULD be for the elementary kids it's so easy...but whatcha gonna do. This batch of freshmen honestly don't care about anything. Why marching band is SO. DARN. FRUSTRATING.

Orchestra was fine. As usual. Then EOP came along.

So during EOP (for non-Souderton peeps: 20-25 minutes to do whatever needs to be done, like visit a teacher for help, just hang out, do homework, etc.) So a friend of mine and I went to practice for districts in the practicie room. And I sang. And she basically said that I was bad. Well actually she DID say I was bad. She said that I was 'flat' and how my jump from Db to F was not good. I held my tongue though I would have loved to scream 'Hi, i'm the girl with perfect pitch. I think I know what i'm doing.' But WHAT.EVER. Natalie heard it too and said that it was fine. Just the situation...It bugged me. A LOT. Right when i thought i was prepared...UGH. That insulted me a lot. Natalie flipped out when she heard what this friend said....whatever.

Lunch stinks. I want my old lunch table. So. Badly.

Honors English...got a C- on a pop quiz. lovely.

Biology...down to an 83%. Even more lovely.

Band. Did a run-through in the rain and wind I HATE WIND SO MUCH. GAHHH Rachel and I were standing with one leg back when we had holds. It was awful. Then we ate, packed up and went to north penn for the game. Homecoming + north penn + our wimpy football team (though we HAVE been winning) = disaster. Anyway we warm up (meanwhile, Mike cannot find his shako and garmet bag (containing gloves) and piccolo player Caitlin forgot her piccolo so she had to stand at attention while we performed) and then we end up doing a STANDSTILL which aren't fun. And yeah. Then we came home. And i lost my beret. And my gloves, if I didn't mention. I wore Alyssa's. GAHHHH. I'll just go to bed now, this day must end.

Whitehall comp, at noon tomorrow, homeshow at night. 'Repoitoire' (sp?) on Sunday, church on sunday, youth group. Somewhere there squeeze in reading The Fall of the House of Usher, a lab report and research on the chicken flu. YUM.

~j

Happy Tuesday.

So it's tuesday, meaning it's almost saturday!!! Hahahah we established this at the bus stop with Jess and Julia. :P Good day, not much work, lots of time to think just about things coming up. I have districts next week. Auditions for Mrs. Washam, that is. ...I don't think I've ever wanted something so badly. (well, besides wanting to become drum major, but that's besides the point.) I'm working SO much on those 2 songs, every EOP i'm working with Natalie on it or I'm working on it by myself in the practice rooms. I did it for about 40 minutes today, going between the recording on Youtube to the piano. I just really want to make it and show people that I can sing and it sounds decent.

Okay, gotta stop now. Mike needs compy. Goodbye.

~j

My Friday night off. :D

So WE DIDN'T HAVE PRACTICE OR A GAME LAST NIGHT because of the weather...I don't know why not. We could have worked on music. But whatever. WE HAD A NIGHT OFF. I came home, changed out of my fancy attire (WESTCHESTER TODAY!!!) and practiced for districts, the recital i have in...8 days (wow. OH and mr. blick assigned a 2nd movement of HAYDN, MIND YOU, and wants it completed and perfect by next sunday. keep in mind i still have marching band and all of those choirs so WHEN ON EARTH AM I TO PRACTICE I DON'T KNOW. oh well...i'll try my best.), and then diana (aka mommy) came over. We watched some jon and kate plus eight, then made frosting for cupcakes we were to make later, then went to my room and just talked about life and marching band and whatever was on our hearts. :] i love her. she's a tough cookie. anyway, natalie came later and it as PRETTY AWESOME. she burst into my room and we then pretended to be inch worms and went down a flight of stairs into my family room on our stomachs. it was SO funny. SO SO funny. After that, we watched some Phillies (I found out that Natalie actually likes the Phillies) and then ate dinner (chicken, mashed potatoes, beans/corn (which for some reason natalie found amazing) and applesauce.) After this, Diana and I made cupcakes while Will (Natalie's boyfriend) came over and played Apples to Apples with all of us. Baking and playing Apples to Apples at the same time is not an easy task. Later on, we listened to Don't Stop Believin' by the Glee people and we were SCREAMING it so loudly. So much fun. Then Diana put me in Cookie Boot camp because I am unable to make chocolate chip cookies. No lie. They NEVER come out right. They're either raw or burnt and always flat like a pancake. Even more, Diana tried to do the recipe and they too came out burnt and flat. So something is extremely wrong. My house is lacking cookie power. :P

Anyway, we took Natalie and Diana home around 10 o'clock, and we're all sleeping on Diana's shoulder. It's pathetic how one week of school can knock you out completely.

So yes. I came home around 10:30ish, Facebooked until 11ish, went to bed, woke up at 7:30 to help with my brother's senior project which we're performing at Rockhill tomorrow. :D Super nervous but really excited.

HURRAY FOR RAINY DAYS FOR MARCHING BAND PRACTICE. And the wind is supposed to be 30 mph. FANTASTIC. Fiberglass sousaphone is equivalent to wearing a parachute. I fell down so many times during windy practices...and now we're performing. Great.

SO awesome day yesterday. I love friends.

~j

VOTD:
When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

John 8:12

Wow what incredible weather for a Thursday.

So yes the rain is PRETTTTTY depressing outside. It's freezing too. But in Austen's words, it's...refreshing. I must admit it is refreshing. :]

School. BLAH. BLAH LIFE. Blah everything right now. Not very happy, I gotta admit. I miss people beyond belief, and just this fakeness isn't very fun. Maybe this is God's test on me saying that I should just go solo. It can be done. Maybe that's the next step. Sure. Whatever works. :P

~j

VOTD (verse of the day):

In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

Ephesians 6:16

Yay procrastinationnnnn!...again.

Yeah I'm procrastinating again. Woot. :D I have to read Act I of the Cruicible and I gotta practice for districts and the recital and French horn just in general so...yeah.

Today. WE GOT OUT EARLY. I love early days. I was very excited. I went home with LeeLee and we ate ham sandwiches. How fun! And then we just talked about life and school stuff in general. It's been quite a while since we've done that. It felt pretty good. Then I read her story that she's thinking of publishing and I was marveling at home amazing is. BTW. If I didn't mention. There is a huuuuuuuuuge possibility that LeeLee and I are going to Germany for a mission trip. Can you say HOLY COWABUNGA THAT'S AMAZING. I'm insanely excited. Just...we need details. Very badly. ;] We haven't gotten anything yet except the date. My mom was pretty against it in the first place because we would leave in the beginning of June and I'd miss school, but it's pretty much the stupid stuff and whatnot. OH. My word. I just realized that I'd be missing my brother's graduation.......ohhhhh dear. Ohhhh ddddear. Oh well. I'll think about something to do for that.

Anyway after that, Hannah came over later and helped wrap Eva's gift which was American Girl doll stuff that LeeLee doesn't use anymore. After that, they went for their permit (and both got them, i was very happy for them) and then we went to Wawa and got coffee. Well I got coffee, me, being the mature and sophisticated one. LeeLee and Squinty got milkshakes. How immature. hahaa. fun. Anyway pretty good day. Tonight my family is ACTUALLY GOING OUT TO EAT WHICH NEVER HAPPENS. It's only happening because it's part of a project I'm doing. I have to write a review about an Eastern Asia Restaurant (aka Yantze) and talk about the atmosphere of the place, how it's decorated, how the food is served, etc. It sounds like fun. The best project I've ever gotten. :]

OHHHHHH. SO this Sunday me and Mike are going to go perform at Rockhill for his senior project and I'm singing jazz. I am EXTREMELY excited. We practiced last night and might I add we sounded pretty spankin' good. :] Yay.

Anyway I MUST go now. I have to finish homework and practice. Goodbye.

~j

Oh the memories we make.

Oldies but goodies. <3

Procrastination...it's great.

So I'm supposed to be writing a huge essay on Lord of the Flies vs. Transcendentalism for Honors English but YOU KNOW...stuff is on my mind and I think I'll write about it. I'm gonna try to go back to my blog because I have that pressure in my heart again when I can't say what I'm thinking because of the people around me. So I'll just spill to my lovely little blog here where people I may know or people I may not know can read about my life. Fantastic.

Gahh. Just life is SO pressure-y right now. Honors english, honors global, biology, and then advanced and show choir and then districts coming up and then jazz band and orchestra and concert band and the musical and marching band and piano recitals every month...AHHH! It's CRAZY! These are the times I can't wait for marching band season to be over so I can bring my grades back up.

Friends. I love a lot of them. They rock. The kind when we stop at a stop sign and explode out of the car and do Chinese fire drills. Or the friends that have staring contests with my dog. Or the ones that I can say absolutely ANYTHING to (ex world domination) and talk about it for hours upon end. And then the friends that I love dearly but I think they have forgotten my existence by other people they care for more. It's...so sad. Or the friends that are moving out of the state in the very near future. Or have moved. Or are homeschooled. I canNOT imagine life without them. I LOVE THEM. I can't live without friends. Please stay with me. I need them now more than ever before.

Boys. WHAT'S UP WITH THEM?! I'm single. I do not like anyone, nor have I for quite a long time. I'm completely happy. Why do they toil with girls' minds so much? I DON'T GET IT. They can leave any time. They steal my friends. They turn their worlds upside down. They drive them bananas and into hideous cycles. Just STOP. All right?! Just go away.

I've been thinking about marching band so much. So many people hate it this year, some love it. Many people are quitting because of other people. That's very sad. At times I want to quit from frustration, at other times I'm so ready to go for drum major. (Thoughts on that?) We may be a kinda small band, we may not have the best drill writers or directors that don't seem to care, we may not have any money in our organization besides donations, but we as a band can do some pretty incredible things. Our situation is not like many other bands. While some people complain that we suck, all right. If you have something negative to say, you know where the door is. Let's go Big Red. <3

Anyway. I guess I should go back to this little essay of mine.

~j

Verse of the Day:
Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.

Proverbs 16:3

Times like this...

It's days like this when you can see who your friends actually are. You know, the ones that want to stay in touch. The ones who think that your thoughts actually do mean something. The ones that aren't embarrassed to have you around them. And I find it funny how I seem to be losing many friends due to this. Or lack of this.

~j

Warning

So just so you all know, I probably won't be updating this very much. And i'll let you know when i do. It's just not really working for me, I'm afraid. My life isn't exactly exciting and perfect and happy and I don't want to dump all of my crap on this site or vent everything out on this site because who knows who's reading this or who even cares.

Oh boy.

I can't do it. I honestly don't think I am strong enough to go through THIS much pain. I canNOT do it. But I have to. I CAN'T quit.

:\

How I hate the feeling of uncertainty.

Ehhhmm...:\

This chance is getting larger and larger. I'm so scared. But I'm not giving up yet. I will NOT go down without a fight.

Update.

Hello all. It's been a while since I have updated. I apologize.

Let's see what's super new...

Well yesterday Casey Cold and Jena came over and we swam and were merry, then we ate dinner, took a LOT of pictures on the swing set nearby, then we walked to Dairy Queen where we ALL got cones with rainbow sprinkles. :] It was very fun.

What's coming up. Well there is to be a girl brassline bananza where we will be tie-dying shirts and then going over to Casey Cold's house and sleeping outside in tents :D that shall be interesting.

On the dark side. You don't hear that saying much. You usually hear 'well on the BRIGHT side...' so i'll just say on the dark side.

There is a very very VERY large chance that I won't be able to do marching band because of my back. Like at ALL. It wouldn't be me moving over to pit or going to a different section. I would be OUT of marching band. And I can't even bear the thought. It scares me a lot. And it's just getting so close to reality that I can't take it.

This year is definitely going to be hard. Whether it's me going to CHOP for my back or leaving school early again for more appointments with the doctors that swear that they can make me better or that two of my friends are either not going to be at school or are leaving right after the school year, this will be tough. And I'm so scared.

~j

Back.

i'm home again. and i want to go back to toronto.

Cyaaa

Well tomorrow I'm going on my missions' trip to Toronto and performing our skit who knows where. But i am SO excited, I gotta go pack, there's no way i'm sleeping tonight, and please pray for me while i'm gone for safe trips and nothing bad happens when we're working with the homosexuals and Atheists (I'm a little nervous for that). I'll be back Friday night/Saturday morning. :]

~j

Something I saw...

So a few nights ago (after watching a J.K. Rowling interview :P ) I saw this little thing about how America is addicted to oil. And you know what? We...are. We really are. Like last year where in some places it was nearly 5 dollars per gallon? We paid the price and yet still went everywhere we would have gone. We complained about the outrageous cost, yes, but we still paid it. YET we have all of these other ways of transportation, like bike, foot, UNICYCLE even but they are ALL able to be used. Why don't we use them? We're too lazy to actually move our legs once in a while? Right.

Another point. Did anyone else notice that we're getting oil from the Middle East who is who we're fighting against right now? I REALLLLLLLLLY doubt that America really wants to help support them when we're trying to WIN this war. But we're STILL buying it from there because PSH we already drained the US so why not use our enemy's oil? They could make it $5,000 dolars per barrel if they wanted to but they AREN'T. Not sure why they haven't done that yet. But we would probably still buy that.

Did ANYONE ELSE NOTICE that we're OVER. ONE. TRILLION. DOLLARS. IN. DEBT. And it will take about 4. GENERATIONS. TO GET OUT OF. And that goes under my skin. While we owe all of this money to other countries, we STILL have game shows when the homeless around the world are dying of lack of everything. We STILL have competitions to see who can gorge themselves with hot dogs or butter or cake the fastest when there are kids that are dying of starvation every three seconds in Africa. We still waste SO MUCH every single day! And...ARGHHHHHH! It really REALLY bugs me! What has HAPPENED to our country?! I really doubt our fore fathers would be really proud if they saw what has happened to . It's messed. And we gotta fix it.

Just pray for our country...before it crumples to pieces.

~j

Update on my life :]

OKAY so I'll just go over the past few days.

So YESTERDAY I went to see Harry Potter (again) with Casey Cold and Ally and that was fun and alll. I made a shirt for Ally but I didn't know that Casey was coming so I felt bad. :[ I would have made her a shirt in ALL OF MY FREE TIME. Ugh. ANYWHOO we saw it and I freaked out like 10 minutes prior to the part when Harry is getting water and those monster Inferi jump out at him and poor Ally nearly had a heart attack from my gasping and scared faces. haha but it was even better the second time. OH and we drew lightning bolt scars on our forehead with eyeliner. :D It was great. After that WE WENT TO ALLY'S FOR TACOSSSSSSSSSSSSS I FINALLY EXPERIENCED THE HEMPELMANN SUNDAY TACO NIGHT (lucky ducks, they have tacos every sunday) SO THAT WAS FANTASTICAL. Then after that we went and played Mario Kart downstairs and i lost epically BUT STILL BEAT CASEY HAAA. :P Loser Ally won. Every time. She beat me by 30 something points.

Aaaand last night i didn't sleep very well. Past 12, I know. Woke up at 5:30 and couldn't fall back asleep for a while. Ugh. I had my coffee this morning. anywhoo i had to wake up at 7 this morning BECAUSE I have vacation bible camp (aka Amazon Camp :]). I'm kitchen staff (prefer to be called head culinary chef of culture class) and I lead worship at the end of the day. Today was Jungle Shakes. I have it memorized if anyone wants the recipe. :D

Jungle Shakes
2 scoops ice cream
1/2 banana
2 T milk (add to however thin you want the shake to be)
1 T chocolate syrup
2 T coconut (optional)

Blend ice cream, banana and milk until smooth. Add chocolate and coconut, mix. Enjoy!

Fun. 1st graders with blenders aren't the best combination out there. They kept persisting "CAN I PRESS THE BUTTON NOWWWWWWWWUH?" and I would patiently say "No, not yet. Just wait." Every time. Rargh. So they were mostly a success but some kids didn't like bananas. Wonder how tomorrow's recipe is going to go. Mangoes and sticky rice? Psh I doubt it will be eating. OH WELLLLLL more for me. :]

Toronto. 4. days. Beyond excited.

I miss my friends. :[ No one is around these days. Whether it's Maryland or Mexico or Variety Camp or just plain busy I'M NOT. Man I need a job. Really badly.

~j

A poem...

Just making this up now.

I love music.
What can I say?
I can feel it.
And unfortunately, so does my back.
It twists and burns
Like the butt of a knife
Stabbed into my spine
And instead of ceasing
It grows uncontrollably.
But with some help from my friends
I try
I really do
To push through
And you know what?
I no longer want to state my dreams
And have to say "If my back lets me"
At the end of each sentence.
I want to be able to run as MANY miles as I want
And not have to run home and ice it
And down a few Advils
And lie down
Unable to move
For a few hours.
I want to be able to do any school sport I want to
I want to play any instrument that I want to play
Instead of having to play the ones that my back lets me play.
Lord, did I do something to deserve this?
Because it's just eating my life
and my dreams
away
until there is nothing left.
So.
All I can do now is pray.
And watch the scenery change.
Because this isn't in my control
But it's in His.

~j

HARRY POTTER

So YESTERDAY I SAW HARRY POTTER WITH SQUINTY AND JEFFFUFAH AND JAKE AND KAYLEE (girl that goes to squinty's church) AND IT WAS AMAZING. Though we weren't sure if we would make it. We were driving down 309 and suddenly we STOPPED. DEAD. There was a line of cars in front of us that weren't moving either. It was around...12:04 at this point. We sat there until about 12:40. IT WAS HORRIBLE! The movie was going to play at 12:50 and we wanted to get there about 30 minutes early so we could get good seats and all and NOW WE WERE STUCK IN TRAFFIC! Jeff-fu-fah stuck his head out of the sun roof to see if anything was going on in the front of the long line of cars and I just got out of the car to see and we couldn't see anything. Very odd. We listened to KYW and they didn't say anything either. HMMM. Eventually, they cleared up what we think was an accident and we raced over there, jumped out of the cars and handed in our pre-ordered tickets. Thankfully, we made it in time and just missed a few previews. :] I was very happy. I was also wearing my special Harry Potter shirt I made the previous night/in the morning. It was AMAZING. I sat in between Kaylee and Jeff-fu-fah and it was so fun. Of course, there was a making-outing couple in front of us who probably didn't even see a quarter of the movie. Jeff and I made fun of it. :P *SLIGHT SPOLIER* At one point, Harry and Ginny kiss (duh) and I was very upset that it wasn't a make-out scene as it should have been. Jeff merely said "Don't worry Jenny, it's right in front of us!" and he pointed at the getting-at-it couple. THAT was hilarious. And yes, I did cry when Dumbledore died, in case anyone was wondering.

Fun day. But today is strictly-business days. Do chores, practice, go to lessons. That's IT. I am NOT making plans for today. I HAVE to practice. A LOT.

On that note, goodbye.

~j

What's new...

So I guess I can talk about how I came back from the beach. It was all fun and all. My hair got lighter and I got tanner. Yippee. I went in the ocean everyday for a loooong time so that was fun and all. Didn't get stung by a jellyfish, but did walk into a screen door and the salad I was holding went kablooey. I didn't get pinched by a crab but I did stub my toes multiple times on the stupid wicker furniture that was in the house. I did not have my phone number asked for by a guy but I did drop my camera (first day, might I add) in the sand after being on the beach...I don't know how many minutes, probably around 5. STUPID STUPID STUPID. So now I can't put my pictures (all...what, three of them?) on the computer for you lovely people to see. Sorry.

I went to the library today and I saw Richie there and I didn't even notice. I was checking out Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and I noticed that this guy was standing next to me rather closely. I was a tad puzzled but didn't do anything. Then he commented about the flowers and I looked up and THERE WAS A VERY TAN, ONE EAR-PIERCED ALMOST SHAVED HEAD RICHIE STANDING NEXT TO ME. I freaked out. I ran outside, gave my mom the book and ran back inside to talk to Richie about the summer and HOW INSANELY DIFFERENT HE LOOKS and whatnot. :P I missed him. I haven't seen him since the last day of school. Wowzers.

At church today, there was a meeting for the counselor-training since VBS is next week. I found out that I'm the kitchen staff leader and I'M LEADING THE WORSHIP TEAM? Ahhh. That kinda took me by surprise. The kitchen thing I wasn't too surprised by since this is my third year, but I did volunteer to HELP at the singing, but now I'm LEADING it?! Whoaaa. I'm scared, yes, but I'll get over it.

Family is college searching tomorrow in Maryland. I'm home alone. Once again. WHAT SHOULD I DO TOMORROW? Maybe i'll bake or go to Genesis or read Harry Potter or something. Sounds good.

~j

Some pics...

Mike and I jedi-fighting with sparklers on 4th of July.


My gangsta Kulp silhouetted by the G-Force sign (seeing UP)


Come on, Ally, it's just a door...(movie theater bathroom XD)

Bonfire

So last night Casey Cold had a bonfire at her house last night with My Twin, Kulp and me. What did we burn? Old school papers (mostly final stuff.) Obviously we went through what we need next year, but the rest was history. I was surprised that CC would even let us BURN paper instead of recycling it (though at one point, her mom yelled out the window, "Do you know that you're destroying the air as we speak?!!? :P). So first, we played Quelf for an hour or so, then we started our fire up (Jena is an amazing fire builder) then threw our papers in, did tribal dances around our burning papers, then roasted marshmallows over our burning papers. Haha the popular jocks that happened to be playing soccer in the next door neighbor's backyard happened to notice our fire and yelled 'What are you doing?' we yelled back 'We're burning school papers!!!' and they ran over and were like 'NO WAYYYY!'. So they started going through our papers, finding papers from teachers that they had, and threw them in the fire. After some burning, we played manhunt with them, which is always fun. That was a great night.

Today, I helped my dad clean the house since we're going to the beach tomorrow until Saturday and my mom is kinda phobic about leaving a dirty house and coming home to an even dirtier house. Since she's now working on Tuesdays and Thursdays, she can't do that so my dad and I did. Tonight I have acupuncture. Yippee? Ugh. I'm getting sick of those herbs and the fish oil crap I gotta take.

Gonna go read Harry Pottah and practice more. :]

~j

Sundaysss

Such gorgeous weather out today. It's so nice out. I tanned for a while (got color, YESSS) then Mike came in and we played Transformers. WHAT LOSERS. Haha so i was on his back with my arms under his arms to his shoulders and then when we went underwater i went on his ankles and frog-kicked around. It was so much fun and it entertained us for quite a while. :D

Later i got to work at Sundaes in the Park where i shall be serving ice cream to everyone most likely with Casey Cold and Jeff-fu-fahhhh. :] Can't wait.

~j

Ode to Sleepless Nights

Oh, sleepless nights
How I loathe thee.
You stay with me all night until the daylight is shining once again
And you leave me only achy and tired
As if I never closed my eyes
If I did close my eyes
It was not for long
For most of my night was spent
Reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
(Squinty's copy that I must return to her at some point sorry)
Trying to make my eyes burn enough
To lull my body to sleep
But alas!
I failed.
As I also lost the game.
I was up until July 2nd
Past midnight
Past one
And eventually I was desperate enough
To not move and breathe deeply
Which finally made me sleep.
But alas!
I woke up at eight.
I do not know why.
How it troubles my soul.

Okay, I was making part of that up while I was lying in bed, tossing and turning with a sore back and upset stomach (it must be those herbs the acupuncture lady is giving me). So TODAY, now that no one is around...I'm going to Aerie with my father. I'm sure he'll love that. Well actually I'm imagining that he's going to wait in the parking lot for a while, while i go shopping (a tad, just the free gift at Aerie, maybe something there and then I'll hit Forever 21 because I <3 that place).
Oh, Mike went for his driving license yesterday and....didn't get it. And you're probably thinking "Oh no, it was that parallel parking." Nope. He hit that SPOT. ON. But apparently he wasn't thinking at an intersection and he turned right on a red which distinctly said 'NO TURN ON RED'. He wasn't a happy camper, but i cheered him up. :D
Yesterday I went to see Up again with My Twin, Trumpeteer and Kulp and it ROCKED. Unfortunately I cried harder this time than the second time. And it was actually hilarious. My Twin and I were hysterical in the beginning of the movie and we don't even know why, and then 5 minutes later I had to keep passing tissue packs down the line of us when Mr. Frederickson's wife dies. So we would comment at the movie all the time, laugh REALLY loudly, cry SO loudly (the poor other people in there...though there were about 4 others)...it was hilarious, really.

It was a great night. Though I was outraged that I had to pay $4.50 for a SMALL DIET COKE. I was appalled. Kulp bought Skittles for $5.00. Crazy crazy crazy.

I'm off to eat breakfast.

~j

Oh GOODNESS.

NO. ONE. IS. AROUND. Really. I mean, Ally's at camp all day on all weekdays, Hananh's at the beach, Rachel's in Ohio, my cousins are at the beach...I'm going to go BANANAS. I'm just so alone. There is no one to talk to. I'm just having major down time, which is good but in MODERATION, not for 2 full weeks of summer. Oh bother. At least I've gotten to talk to Mike some. And honestly...I think I've taken the whole big brother thing for granted. Really...I can talk to him about A N Y T H I N G. Honestly we can cover every subject. And before I know it, he'll be going off to Harvard or another Ivy League school which he could afford with his smartness and he'll become famous while I'll be at home, a sophomore, bawling my eyes out but remembering the times we just got to talk about LIFE. I already miss him. I'll probably just hang out with him tonight. He's probably reading this and getting all embarrassed because he's a guy and he can't stand sibling love. But I LOVE YOU MIKEEEE. :D Besides, I already embarrassed you at that Winter Retreat when I said how much I love you in front of the entire youth group. :P

Okay, don't worry, we're not like PERFECT. We fight and all, but I do love him.

~j

In case anyone was wondering...

So I don't even know if anyone reads this anymore because everyone seems to have fallen off the face of the earth but OH WELL I can just talk to myself.

So anyway I quit Sophie's. It wasn't going hot. At ALL. I wasn't being paid for my training (so that was what...10+ hours of free labor? and that annoys me.), he seemed to ALWAYS have a bad taste for me (i'm going too slow (ON MY FIRST DAY), or i'm not smiling enough, i'm too clumsy (I don't blame him, I nearly broke the receipt machine and dropped the phone countless times with my leg)) and I just seemed to do everything wrong. So...I tried. On Saturday, I was in for 2 hours of 'training', which consisted of me following the waitress around and watching because SHE WOULDN'T LET ME DO ANYTHING...so Mr. Sophie's came up to me and pretty much said that this isn't the job for me. So I just said okay, left, tried not to cry (i'm too sensitive...) and later called and said that I quit. So. Oh well. I'll try something else.

BILLY MAYES IS DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. For those superstitious people that believe that famous people die in 3's (Farah whatever, MJ and now Billy Mayes) IT'S JUST A COINCIDENCE. Shup it. And if you don't shup it, why don't you just fill in those cracks that might just break your mother's back, loser.

Anyone have any sleeping...techniques (for lack of words)? I've been having the WORST time falling asleep for a few days and at the moment I'm living on 6 hours every night and it's sucky.

~j

You Know...

Aren't summers supposed to be...fun? Because this is a rather sucky summer.

~j

Job Training...

So THIS MORNING I had my job training. :\ It was scary, yes, but I lived. So I got there around 11, and in the beginning I was watching the other girl work (there was only ONE waitress for ALL of those people!!) and how the cashier worked. Later, I started working at the cash register while Mr. Sophie/Julia (boss and worker) were telling me which buttons to push (mind you, this is all done on a computer). So I thought I did ALL RIGHT, but I messed up two times. (Would there EVER be a job without me messing up?!)

So the first time, this guy ordered something that was 34 dollars, and he gave me 35 dollars. So I put it into the cash register but accidentally put it in as 350 dollars and i was like AHHHHHHHHH and then Mr. Sophie(an annoyed Mr. Sophie, I'm afraid) fixed it for me, thank goodness. The other time, I was ripping off a receipt and apparently i ripped it the wrong way and the receipt machine went flying off of the cash register and I freaked out, thinking that Mr. Sophie was going to kick me out right then and there (thankfully, he didn't.) A few times I gave some food to people (10 DRINKS. ONE TRAY.AND I DIDN'T SPILL THEM THANKS TO MBAND AND ROLL STEPPING!!!). Unfortunately it wasn't paid work, but I have it tomorrow as well, so I guess I can manage. I'll probably ask him if I can start working soon (he told ME to tell him when I'm ready to work) and I'm getting a great idea how to work the cash register for people who come IN to eat, no idea how to do phone yet...anyway, I really really super duper hope that I got the job.

~j

Just kidding.

I lied, I'm gonna post more today.

I don't know if you guys are losers like me and LOVE to read but I've read/am reading some books that I LOVE and think that you guys should read too:

Searching for Alice by Melody Carlson
Looking for Cassandra Jane by Melody Carlson
Sweet Caroline by Rachel Hauck

I'll have some later, but I've read these in the past week and they're AMAZINGly good.

That is all.

~j

Only me...

So today (this morning, actually) I had to get a blood test. I hate them. Sure, I've had more than I could ever count (kudos to my multiple allergies and other sicknesses) but I still get nervous when they stab me. Anyway, they had to take...5 or 6 viles of blood, I lost count. I believe 3 of them were for the allergist, because he realized that there was no way on this earth that he could take my off of Zrytec and have me survive to do an allergy test (you know, the ones with the allergy stuff on the needle and they prick you to see how you react.) So he was going to test my blood on the allergy stuff. Anyway, the 2-3 other viles were for a physical and to see what is up with my thyroid (remember that? I posted about that a loooong time ago...)

ANYWAY. I got this really nice lady (who was rather sarcastic, kinda reminded me of me ;D) who was taking my blood and all. And there's this new thing that takes the blood out with barely any pain, it just takes longer. So ladidadidah, she pricked, she took blood, and then i started feeling ratherrrrr nauseous. She was telling us a story about raw nuts (don't ask) and I just quickly asked if I could go to the bathroom. So she lets me, and I walk to the bathroom as fast as I could (i had no desire to throw up in front of everyone) and then I got rather dizzy (probably from taking 1/3 of my bodily fluids, thanks a lot) and I hit the threshold of the bathroom door. ONLY ME. Anyway I didn't end up getting sick, thank goodness, but I kept getting those funny black dots all around every time I stood up. But I'm pretty sure it's from losing a lot of blood so quickly. ANYWAY I'm fine now. But it was kinda interesting. But I started feeling (once again) rather nauseous when I realized that I was hanging over a PUBLIC. TOILET. So when we got home, I washed my arms all the way up to my elbows in hot water and soap for quite a long time. I hope I don't get AIDS.

So that's my story. Tadaaaa.

TODAY, I'm going with my mom to Outlet Marketplace to find black work pants for Sophie's and then to Genesis, and then ACUPUNCTURE!!! Yippee. But hey, if it helps my back, I'll do it every day.

Oh. INSANEEEEEEEE times with Shorty on Friday night/Saturday. I'll make some highlights, but I don't know how to make the cool bullets...
-walking around the neighborhood listening to In the Heights
-SAME NAIL POLISH. SAME BRAND. EVERYTHING. SO CREEPY...YET SO COOL....
-singing for about...2 hours? with every piece of sheet music i owned (and REALIZING AGAIN HOW AMAZING YOUR VOICE IS LITTLE MISSY)
-trying to tell you about 'Have You Checked the Children' without you freaking out and lying about the end so you're all right. :P
-Hoedown Throwdown!!!!
-Determined to stay up past 3...didn't make it past 1.
-Gingersmush.
-Our AMAZING one-handed pancakes (and me failing to crack an egg with one hand)
I'm positive there are more, but I'll stop there.

Amazing insane spectacular times. And we MUST do that more often.

Last night, our cousins/grandparents came over to celebrate Father's Day with us. That is ALWAYS fun. I've forgotten how amazing it is to hang with my favorite cuzzs. :P ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY STALK MY FRIENDS ON AIM. YEAH I'M TALKING TO YOU. :P You guys make me laugh. A lot.

Mmm...I've had really good past few days recently. It's really nice to have.

OH! Flashbacking to yesterday...

-twilight zone music-....

So yesterday I had to walk the neighbor's dog b/c they're in California all week (hey, it's money, I'll take it) so ladidadidah, walking Lexi who is SUCH a cute golden retriever, and then she stopped somewhere. Like DEAD stopped. So I let her do whatever she was doing for a few seconds (which I believe was sniffing furiously at the ground) and I went to pull her to come and OF COURSE her leash hook snaps off and there's a shower of dog tags. Lexi gets all excited and jumps around (I guess because she realized that she's free? idk) so i dive for her collar and bring her with me as I search the street and grass for the multiple dog tags. Only me. This would ONLY happen to me. Oh bother.

But I found them, and thanks to my Dad and his pliers, everything's good w/ her collar. Hallelujah.

That's enough for one day.

~j

Job Interview

So it went well, I suppose. The manager showed me around, told me the system of stuff and whatnot. So NOW I have a training session Tuesday morning. Huh. I'm kinda scared, but oh well, I'll try my best.

Gotta do some sousy.

~j

AHHHH.

I have to leave soon for a job interview. In about 5 minutes, actually. PLEASE. PRAY. I am terrified and I'm hoping that I don't humiliate myself. I'm kinda scared but I'm trying not to come as scared because they can probably sense that...oh man. So...yep.I'll tell you how it goes when I come back.

~j

Vets.

So maybe it's because I have a) no life, b) i'm bored, c) my back is too sore to practice piano/sousy or d) all of the above that i'm going to write about our trip to the vet.
Today, my mom and I went to the vet with Shelby (don't worry, she's not sick, do not fret). This is always an adventure. We cannot go to the vet alone. SHELBY IS BEAST. She claws at the ground as if she fears it will disappear altogether, she pants like a rabid bear and slaps anyone (dog or human) with her tail which is going at...maybe 75 mph, more or less. We sat there for about 30 minutes, waiting...and waiting...meeting other dogs, terrifying other dogs, making people mad that our dog is not in a straight jacket but instead is clawing up the linoleum.
That's really all. Shelby shed enough fur to create a small animal and it was moving in waves (no lie) when people moved past. My mom was mortified. I thought it was hilarious. :D
So anyway, I'm going to read until my back is manageable. Toodalooooo.

~j

I'm a druggie?

So APPARENTLY the FDA is accusing Cheerios of being a drug. Let's see if I can find part of an article...

"The Obama administration is reversing course, thank goodness, and enforcing the law," he said. "Cheerios was the first target. We hope though the FDA under the Obama administration clamps down on misleading health claims by other food manufacturers as well.

At issue are two claims made by Cheerios on their cereal box.

1. "Cheerios is clinically proven to reduce cholesterol 4 percent in 6 weeks."

2. "Cheerios can help reduce the risk of coronary heart disease, by lowering the 'bad' cholesterol."

Both General Mills and the FDA declined to comment -- but issued statements saying the two sides were in negotiations over the claims that have helped make Cheerios America's best-selling cereal, amounting to one of every 8 boxes of cereal sold in the U.S.

General Mills is a titan of the food business with an army of lawyers. If the FDA can make it back down, others will follow."

WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO?!?!!?!?!?

Oh goodness...

So today I went to Genesis to work out (where I heard about this crazy Cheerio thang) and now I'm home, gonna clean out my backpack, probably clean basement & do sousy/piano/voice stuff...SHORTY COMING OVER LATER TONITEEE. I'm uber excited. :D

~j

Going on a Harry Potter rant...

(anyone else cry when sirius died?)

Last day of School...con...

So yesterday was the last day of school. I'm surprised I didn't cry. But I think it will hit me pretty soon.
So we had the awards ceremony yesterday (I won the Band Director's Award :] and a $10 iTunes giftcard) and then we were free. I hugged almost everybody and just seeing all of my teachers...it's so sad, really. How next year we're going to a completely new school that no one has ever set foot in before. Rather intimidating. And really upsetting to me. I'd so much rather go to the old high school. Honestly, i don't care what new pretty expensive gadgets the new high school has. The old one has CHARACTER. I've gone to it for both of my brothers' events that happened there. And now they're just knocking the entire thing down. WHAT. A. WASTE. It really bothers me.

It's raining, it's pouring, i'm sick of the weather....yes i know that didn't rhyme....

So i got a MAJOR nose bleed yesterday. :P So I was at Giant's with Broda, Jeff-fu-fah, Squinty, Barbahh and Giant (am i forgetting anyone?) I was on the trampoline with Broda and of course, I tripped over him backwards, fell on my back and smashed my knee into my nose. OUCHIE. So i was a tad dazed and then i had the WORST bloody nose ever. It somehow got on my legs and arms and hair (I'm sorry if anyone here is squeamish) so I went inside and Squinty helped clean me up (thank you. :]) So now my nose is rather swollen and discolored, but THAT'S OKAY. It will fade. At least school's done. :P

So I had yoga this morning and that was fun. It's actually a huge workout. It reminds me of a 'How to do Plank in 568 different ways' class. I was SWEATING so either I'm realllllllllly out of shape or it's difficult (i'm hoping it's the 2nd option.) Came home, practiced piano/voice and I'm probably off to practice sousaphone and GAIN BREATH SUPPORT!!!! Which i need REALLLLLLLY BADLY!!!!

~j

Last day of school...

My Old Mellophone Buddy (front) and Glass (back) in Gym

Pretty little star we did in gym...

LOVE this picture! Bottom left: Squinty, Barbahh and Giant. Second row: Kullhanjean and elmo, top is Jeff-fu-fahhhh.

Pics

Hmm. Year almost over. Yep.

Only a few hours left. Hurray. Then I'm free.

I don't like this.

~j

Toronto skit practice

So at church, the Toronto team had a commissioning ceremony and after THAT my small group (consists of Broda, Talia, Olivia, and Mr. M-one girl couldn't make it) went to Olivia's house for skit practice. The skit that we're doing is this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0w39vErgIMM (just copy and paste into the bar at top).

So after watching this, I am the innocent one (hence why Broda has been calling me Innocent One) who gets pulled around by all of the sins. Broda is Jesus (how fitting?), Olivia/Talia/Lauren are sins, and Mr. M is Satan (in the back controlling the sins). So we practiced this OVER AND OVER again, and man I am getting beat up. When tug, they're pulling at my arms each and every way, then they throw me to the ground, then they kick and push and smack me when they circle me, then they drag me back (it's not faking, they are ACTUALLY dragging me across the floor.) And then Jesus comes, the sins fall, then Satan gets the sins back up, they fall again, then there's another game of Tug of War with Jesus and Satan. I'm the tug-of-war item. :P So..I'm kinda bruised. Oh well. It was GREATTTT. We're having practices every Sunday until Toronto comes. :D I'm so excited.

So now...no one is home except Brian, everyone else is at yet ANOTHER graduation party (person i don't know...) so i'm stuck home. I'll probably go swimming.

~j

P.S. I ate a brownie. I feel uber rebellious. I'm already kinda itchy...but it was worth it. Whatcha gonna do about it.

I'm back. And bored.

I'm back. Again.

So after talking with Shorty, I ran outside. Sounds weird. But there's quite a lot swimming in my brain so I went outside (yes, it was raining and thundering) and just walked to the creek. And...stood there. Yep. That's how I relieve stress. :P After freezing outside (I was only in a tank and shorts, mind you) I went to play piano and sang my heart out (yes, with strep. Whatcha gonna do about it.) After that, I did sousaphone for about 1/2 an hour. I. Love. Sousaphone. Like...i'm sorry mellophone, but it doesn't even compare to how awesome sousy is. Oh mannn. I love it. I'm so excited to learn everything. So excited.

So in conclusion, music relieves stress. A lot. And it rocks. A lot.

Just saying.

~j

Bored...and home alone...

It's thunderstorming outside so I can't run, Brian and Kristie are at dinner (yes, they like eating early), and no one is on AIM, I don't have a facebook to play with, I already cleaned by room, I did piano, I can't do sousy b/c of strep...it hurts enough to breathe, let alone blow my lungs out into a marching tuba...

Going on a palooza again.

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Saturday...

Rargh. Still sick. I hate strep.

So today...I went through my room, getting rid of some old clothes, majorly cleaned it (noticing that I, in a way, am a packrat), played piano, went to Walmart/Genesis/the bank with my mom (yes, and I am sick. Hope I didn't breathe on anyone...). So after school, probably on Thursday, I am to start yoga at Genesis. I am rather excited. My mom and I went to get a mat at Walmart (it's hot pink. Very unlike me, but it was the cheapest one, and we're trying our best to cut corners).

So i was going through my jewelry, amidst my sunglasses and Gudu pops and pennies I did science experiments on, I noticed that my jewelry is so messed up. There are so many knots in it and many pieces are broken. So I took a wine bottle out of the recycling bin and made it into a bracelet holder (reuse, recycle, right?). It's drying right now. I painted it. :D

I'm gonna be home alone tonight. Brian and Kristie are going out tonight and the rest of my family is going to a graduation party. My parents are friends with the grad's parents, and Mike is a friend of the grad. And I am a stranger of the grad. I'd rather not stand there awkwardly. I'd rather be here in the comfort of my home, play piano and sousy, watch What Not to Wear and Jon and Kate Plus 8. (Oh, their story is so sad...)

(Hope I get to talk to you later.)

~j

ALL RIGHTIE.

Now that I know how to put in a picture, I'm going to have a iconator/google palooza.

I'm home.

Yes, it's a little early. Why, you ask? I got pulled out of school for a doctor's appointment (3RD. TIME. THIS. WEEK.) so they could check up on my throat. And yep, they're pretty sure it's strep. FAN. TASTIC. I don't WANT to be sick!!! My mom DID say that I will be feeling better by tomorrow (they put me on meds) so that's a good sign.

So you know, when you go to the doctor's for some throat problem, they do a throat culture. Throat cultures do NOT agree with me. The lady ask me to put my head back so she could put that swabby thinger down my throat (isn't THIS lovely?) and when she got close my reactions got the best of me and I pulled back. So then she forced my head against the wall (no Jenny was harmed in the making of this throat culture) so i couldn't move anymore. So she got the back of my throat and was getting...idk whatever the doctor's get...on the stick and my legs just kicked out and one leg hit her...and the other just flipped out. SO. I'm Jenny. I'm a freak. I hate the doctors...anyway I have to get a blood test on Monday (for three things, isn't that spectacular?) because the nurse noticed that my thyroids are bigger than usual. Idk what this means, but my mom said that I might have hypothyroidism, which would explain the pure exhaustion I get a lot of the times. Hmm. Yet ANOTHER thing on my plate. I bet God's up in heaven, screaming "HELLO??! I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!!!" I just don't know what that is.

Oh. I got my science final back. 78%. OUCH? I studied for that thing for 2 weeks and I can't even get a B?????? On the bright side, I still have 7 extra credit points to put on it from participating in class and that extra test we could do for more extra credit...so I could probably get it up to a B. But that took me in for a shock. Whoa.

I still gotta practice SOUSAPHONEEEEEE and PIANOOOOO today. I cant wait....

~j

One more day...

Tomorrow is our LAST final. I can't believe it. Today was quite a struggle to get through. Last night there was a...family crisis...so I didn't get to bed until about 1, wake up a little after 5:30. I wasn't exactly what you call...'ready' to take the finals with with barely 4.5 hours of sleep under my belt. I also didn't have coffee because I didn't think that butterflies (from final nerves) and coffee would mix well. So all natural. I barely wore any makeup either, I was positive I would be rubbing my face all day (and I did.) So I made it through the finals (math was a joke, science, actually surprisingly slightly difficult) and I just wanted to CRASH. But no, we had to do German tongue twisters in German class. Woot. It doesn't help that I might have strep throat or an ulcer or SOMETHING in the back of my throat; I can't talk without wincing. It's actually ironic. I love piano/french horn, give it up for back. I find that I have a decent voice and go for voice lessons, sore throat/cold the time before, now this. What's next.

OH. So today I had piano lessons with Mr. B. Oh I love that man to DEATH!!!!! Even his home is just so welcoming and calming. Like I walk in there and always take a HUGE breath. It just smells old and homey...oh man I love him. I had a 35 minute lesson (new record!! though i was at the point of my spine snapping in half) with him, and he fixed some things, he encouraged me...it was great. It's these kind of lessons that make me think that I actually might have a talent in piano. And...that's really cool. I love him. I love piano.

We canceled my voice lesson (JUST TODAY'S LESSON: some people need some clarification cough cough SHORTY) because whatever is wrong with my throat. I kinda wanted it today, but I doubt that it would have gone well with this problem. RARGH.

One more day, then the weekend.

~Jenny

I got 7 minutes...

So i have seven minutes until i have to go to my bus stop and go to school. Happy Wednesday!! We've made it through most of the week. But this is the day finals start. OH DEAR OH DEAR OH DEAR. I studied for...i don't know how many hours...last night for history and german, so i feel SUPER DUPER prepared for that. Math and science, not so much. English, psh, bring it on. I got an 100% on the other part...so even if i DO bomb this, i'll be fine.

So. Marching band tonight. I'm not sure what instrument I'll be playing. Or if I even DO play an instrument today. I dont even know how to play a sousaphone, and mellophone is too painful. I might just sit there and finger it? Maybe, i'll talk to Goatee.

Why do I get the sense that something tonight will NOT go well?...

OH. Ultrasound today for whatever is on my neck. Please pray, I'm rather frightened...

~j

Mondays. Hurrayy.

Hallo. Congratulations on getting through a Monday! And it's the last hard-full-of-work Monday this entire year...until we're sophies. Scary thought. And my brother will be a SENIOR next year. Life is going way too fast. I will bawl when my brother leaves. I can't even think of him leaving actually. It's too...wow. Scary.

So today. Math, of course. I pretty much lived at my teacher's desk, asking so many questions. I also came down 7th period to ask even MORE questions. So right now, I'm feeling decently confident with what we need to know for the final. (It's on Thursday.)

English, we watched the new Romeo and Juliet. Haha very interesting. It's SO weird...all 'modern' with old English talking (old English, right?)

Science was science. Kinda normal. Same as German. Gotta study both still.

Half of lunch I spent thinking of math and writing down questions I have. Is it possible to have dyslexia in ONE subject? If so, I must have an awful case of it in math. It seems like NOTHING can click in my head when it comes to numbers and equations and polynomials -shudders-.

History, boring. I'm ready to ace that thing. :D

7th, I went to math to ask more questions. That went well.

I went to Jeff-fu-fahs after school with gang minus Broda. We got slightly distracted in our studying, but I was able to do it (AND paint my nails neon yellow and neon green while studying more history and math). Haha fun times. I haven't been there for about...a week, i suppose. Feels like forever.

So...yep. Sorry that my life is so boring. Nothing is going to be new this week except that I'm shaking off those cobwebs that grew on the things I learned the beginning of this year.

In 7 days, this year will be done. Ha, I'm sad. Sounds PATHETIC, but I'm sad. I love seeing my friends every day. I really do. It keeps me alive and...sane, I suppose.

RANDOM QUOTE OF THE DAY!!!

Found it in a friend's AIM profile: If you know that something is wrong and you have a choice to do it or not, remember: giving in is like giving up.

I'm not saying this for any reason, really, I just found it and it's very true.

I'm off to swim. I would love to have some silence.

~Jenny :]

Yeah, my back hurts. A lot. But it was expected. And I don't care. I refuse for it to hinder back my life. It will not. I don't care. I AM doing sousaphone in marching band. I WILL run if I want to. If it kills me, so be it. So HA.

Sigh.

(Just so you all know, I'm on my dad's laptop, our computer is deathly ill, and I might be on this for a while, meaning I might not be updating as much...)

One week down. Only one full week to go. Huzzah.

So...today I saw Up with the Wright family. Rather fun. I liked it, and yes, I cried three times. It was kinda sad and I had personal relations with what happened. Good gravy it's a PIXAR movie and I had 'personal connections'. No, I never had a personal connection with a talking dog or an Asian Boy Scout, if that's what you're wondering...

When I got home, it was raining. And my mind is full of QUITE a lot right now (you know, the drama is killing me. It's just EATING at me. And i'm tired of it.)so I changed into sweats and my marching band jacket and ran (yes, i DID run. i'm not supposed to. whatcha going to DO about it?)about 3 miles and IT FELT SO GOOD. Yeah, it hurt, but I'm not sure if I really care or not. I ran into the branches hanging over the sidewalk just to have my face slapped with cold water. It felt so good, it got some stress out (though I'm positive I'll be feeling the pain tonight and tomorrow) and just move some. I should have been studying...but I guess that's what weekends are for.

So....the MRI's came back. Anddddddddd....nothing. It's 'normal.' Sureeee. But what kinda concerns me is that in the MRI, they found something growing on my thyroid (I think it's something in your neck). OH. FANTASTIC. LIKE I NEED A N Y T H I N G ELSE ON MY PLATE. So honestly I'm scared, like if it's bad or anything. My mom said not to worry, but she might just be saying that just so I don't get too frightened (too late). Gah.

And on top of that, I'm positive I failed that math test I spent hours upon end studying for. I love my life.

~j