A venting/appreciation session before I practice my booty off for the recital.

Hello anonymous,

I really think that venting out somewhere is good. It's not good to keep things bottled in. I'm not a fan of speaking face to face with my problems, so I think vaguely exploding here is just better. Obviously no names, that's wrong. Just want to get out what I've been thinking about. Hereeee we go.

Okay, really, I can't wait until you go. I try SOOOO hard to get along with you, to give you the benefit of the doubt, to give you excuses for your actions and honestly it is no longer working. You don't deserve what you get. Maybe I do love you, maybe I do care when you run off to get attention because I don't want you dead. You're just making this so much harder than it has to be. I'm bending over backwards just to try to live with you and not go crazy. Now it's your turn.

I do still love you. I know that priorities change. It's okay. I just gotta accept that it won't be the same.

I love you. I miss you. And I know you miss me. We need time in a bottle. I'd open it up right now so we could catch up again. It would probably take over 48 hours to catch up. We could bake again, we could relearn our dance to HSM, we could catch up and spill our hearts again. I still remember that day I sat in your empty family room with you as our parents packed up your house and I thought of everything that would change. Whether this was for the better, I'll never know. But I know I have been changed for good.

Thank you for keeping me alive. And helping me with my homework every night. And how you're almost willing to help. :] Don't go. Please. Just stay here. College is overrated.

You rock. Feel free to live in my mailbox as we planned it to be. I will bake you brownies every day. I can't imagine junior year without you here with me.

You have taught me so much, whether it's how to rotate my wrists on the keys or how to love. You have changed my life. You push me to tears but remind me of the reward at the end. You helped make my dreams look possible. Thank you.

I do feel better. Now I'm off to practice.

~j

VOTD:

But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.

2 Corinthians 3:18